Tuesday, April 23


The reason why I find the idea of having pets to be repulsive is because I find the act extremely selfish. This is just my point of view so there's no reason to be angry over it since I'm not forcing anyone to adopt my perspective.    

Basically having a pet is a choice made by people and not their pets ( I mean duhh, a dog can't point his finger at you and ask you to bring him home). And most people just get all so excited over their pet for like the first few months and then your infatuation for whatever pet it is dies down, eventually. I'm not saying that the pet is completely forgotten or neglected, I'm just saying it doesn't receive so much of it's owner's attention anymore. And I just find this... heart-breaking.    

Think about it from the POV of said pet, all it does is laze around the house for the entire day waiting for you to return home from your sch/work/dinner. You have friends, family, colleagues, neighbours, parties, outings, events etc to attend to, but your pet only has you. If you have a pet, do you actually note it down on your calender to reserve a day for you to spend 'quality bonding time' with your pet? You are your pet's family & friend, you make up the entire entity of your pet's 'social life' yknow. I don't know how can people bring themselves to decide that they want another being (the pet) to has it's life revolve around their own.   

Of course this isn't applicable to every pet and owner case. Some people take in injured/ starving animals and drastically change the pet's life for the better, giving the pet a chance to live on. I also know of housewives that spend most of their time at home accompanying their pet while attending house chores, so the pet really doesn't have time to feel lonely. Then there's also cats, cats that roam about whenever they want to and when they get bored or hungry, they come and look for you. I guess that's why the only pet that appealed to me are cats, because they are so independent that you can feel assured that they'll know how to occupy their own free time.   

Ok that's about all I want to say. I feel like a pet now since I don't have a driving license and I don't have a fucking car even if I do have a license anyway. My happiness and freedom is completely dependent on whoever the fuck that decides to be my 'owner' for the day and take me out for dinner or something. Malaysia isn't a public-transportation-friendly-country like Singapore you see. I fucking hate this point of my life right now. 

p/s maybe pets are too dumb to feel emo and I'm just the emo one thinking too much. yeah.

Monday, April 22

I'm looking for someone with time to spare

This is going to be a weird ranting post from yours truly, an ex-art student/ soon to be art-student/ future somebody in some part of the creative industry hopefully surely.

It is 6.26AM now and I am so fucking awake even though I've been up all night. I was browsing and reading random things online while eating boiled cabbages for hours. And suddenly around 5AM an idea struck me, something extremely compelling and it just occupied all of my thoughts. So I created a new document and started typing as fast as I could about this whole 'idea', trying very hard to keep myself coherent at the same time cos the idea just kept expanding and developing as I was typing, my fingers just couldn't keep up with my thoughts!

After about an hour of furious typing and editing I kinda sorted out my thoughts and managed to roughly spell out my idea into a document of words. This 'idea' is about an installation I visualized in my mind. I wanted to explore the idea of absorbing opinions from other people and to what extent should we allow that to happen... where do we draw the line to prevent ourselves from being someone gullible/ easily swayed... or from being someone so adamant about our own judgement that it can be considered ignorant...

Basically it was a whole string of jumbled words/thoughts that kept bugging me, it's ok if you don't get my drift, I don't really get it 100% at this point either LOL. But all of a fucking sudden my laptop just died, like I mean DIED. And after many failed attempts to revive it, it finally switched back on but the document was gone, UNSAVED. SO I AM FUCKING ANGRY NOW OMG URGH I DON'T YKNOW GET INSPIRATIONS SO OFTEN Y'KNOWWWW!! WHY THIS TIME OF ALL TIMES MY LAPTOP GOTTA DIE ON ME WHEN I JUST EXPERIENCED SUCH A GROUNDBREAKING EPIPHANY IN MY LIFE AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

ok I'm done ranting... I think I'll just sleep it off or something and start writing about it all over again tmr...

By the way I really miss having my art friends around, it's so easy to talk to them about such ideas, about installations and all since that's 95% of what we talk about when we were preparing for A-levels art project  lol -.- (the other 5% is usually about what we're having for lunch or dinner LOL) I feel so lonely sometimes, I feel like nobody (physically here) understands my weird jumbled thoughts that I'm trying to express.... I'm so bad at expressing myself verbally since life doesn't offer a backspace button for me to replace a certain word after it has been uttered, even if suddenly a better word to describe that certain emotion pops up in my mind. ARGH I'm typing weird things again, you think I'm weird and all messy inside as you read this don't you, you asshole of a reader.

When I was in SG, I was having a random conversation with GSJ and she asked me what talent/strength I wish I had (which I don't). My answer is something that I always always wish I was better at, which is to express myself better verbally. How come every time when I try to look someone in the eye and bring my point across, the right words just never manage to leave my mouth? They're always buried somewhere deep down in my mind and I'll only find a way of expressing them much later, probably when the issue is not even pertinent anymore. For example, previously, my father wasn't very pleased with my interest in pursuing tattoo art due to some misconceptions, which I've been trying to clear up to him through countless conversations, which not only resulted futile but also left us bitter. In the end I decided to just write him a letter to express myself and guess what, he gave me the green light after reviewing the letter. Oh by the way, the letter was like.... two thousand over words long LOL. I'M JUST SO BAD AT WORDS THAT I HAVE TO BE SO LONG WINDED COS I AM AFRAID THAT PEOPLE JUST DON'T GET ME, YOU GET ME?

..... I'm so deprived, I hope another fellow weirdo will appear in my life soon so there's someone I can talk to about my weird theories... and maybe inspire me further to do weirder things and have weirder thoughts.

p/s lol did i seriously used the word epiphany to describe what i experienced... 

Thursday, April 18

Almost a week

Hello, just a random update about my mini trip down to Singapore last Thursday. Due to the fact that I'm way way waaay too stingy to rent a room when I go to Sg, I basically house-hop for my entire trip when I go and visit my friends there. A decent hotel room would cost at least SGD 120/night so yeah... that's seriously not an option at all. 

The main purpose of my trip to SG was to collect my testimonial from my college and oh my, I couldn't contain my laughter when I read it LOL. It was terribly flattering and I just cannot stand reading so much flattery of myself. I mean seriously, I consider myself pretty egoistical but reading pages and pages of flattery written by my form teacher (or whoever that wrote it) was just... too much LOL.

With the orange haired Pearlyn which insisted camwhoring while she was having her breakfast.

I spent an entire day hanging around Somerset cos Pearlyn was working in 313. Called Van over and we were really pros at wasting time together. Funny how we went to the same Junior College for two whole yeares but we only bumped into each other for a grand total of 2 times LOL. Catching up with her was really comforting because I found out there's someone else out there sharing the same lifestyle as me right now, sleeping all day long and spending the rest of my hours awake on the bed rolling and using the laptop. True blue bed potato.

Van is actually Vanessa. But idk why I never could bring myself to every call her Vanessa...
 She used to call me Lorry cos I always call her Van LOL.

Oh and I know I mentioned something about shaving half my head some time ago but I actually.. forgot about it. Yeah too much rotting on the bed caused my memory to deteriorate pretty badly. I was out with Audrey one day and we had time to spare so I went to get my hair braided in town. Now that it's in braids I can't be bothered to shave my head anymore lol. Fucking expensive wtf SGD25, ($5/row) knnccb but oh well it did turn out pretty nice....

Btw if you can guess correctly where this photo was taken I'll give you cookies, heh.

Managed to catch up with my high school Chinese teacher when I was in Sg too. Yeah I'm actually in touch with him for some reason LOL I must have been an amazing student to leave such an impact on him. But he refused to take a picture so that's only Charyl and I in the picture. I even deliberately combed my hair the other side to hide the braids so I actually look more decent....

While the 3 of us were having dinner, Charyl suddenly called out "老师!!" pretty loudly while speaking to him and the waiter STARED at him HAHAHAHAHHAHA SO HILARIOUS. I bet he was wondering wtf is this scandalous man doing with 2 young girls that regard him as "老师". Then again it obviously isn't easy for ex-students to start calling their teachers by name right. That's usually something that students only do behind their teacher's backs LOL.

Headed to GSJ's house that night. Her elder brother was having a Pirate themed birthday party LOL.

GSJ is another lazy piece of ass, which is why I really enjoy spending time with her HAHAHA. On my second last day in Sg she switched on the air-cond in her room and my nose wouldn't stop leaking like a tap ever since. I really cannot handle air-cond, drives my nose crazy. We basically spent more than half the day lazing on the bed talking about absolute rubbish and online shopping. That's what I call life. 

Oh wait there's one more photo where I don't look retarded,

Okay actually I look even more retarded in this photo I took in Bee's room,

LOL I tied her winter scarf around my head and I forgot what was the reason....

Anyway, it was a really really good trip, didn't expect to meet so many friends within such a short time (6 days) and I managed to eat at Kazokutei TWICE so I'm very glad. I really like eating at Kazokutei... I don't really know why either since the food isn't especially delicious or affordable either. Maybe it's a habit. Oh, this is the Omu rice I always order from Kazokutei,

Please try it if you haven't! 

Okay now that I'm done blogging I should really go back to completing this super neglected drawing I've been working on for a really reaaaally long time. 

Seeee youuuu!

Sunday, April 7



Everyone will throw rocks at you, slice you open, take a piss on you and walk away. At the end of the day, you'll have nobody but yourself. That's how it works.