Monday, August 11

Singapore | May '14

Hello you.

Decided to update this space with my trip to SG back in... May. And it's August now LOL I bet nobody remembers this space anymore, sniff sniff. 

Life has been a blur for me, everything is happening at a rather uncomfortable speed, I must say. So many things have changed since the last time I updated! New social circles, new habits, new bed and even a new housemate lol. These may sound exciting but in these months I also burned bridges and had really close friends leave HK one by one, boohoo. Like the saying goes, 旧的不去,新的不来. I miss my friends in SG, KL and whichever part of the world they may be at, but I'm also grateful for the people I currently have in life now even though I've only known them for a few short months.

Mr Habibi came to pick me up from Changi airport after he got off work. Thank you so much! This is why I love coming to SG so much, so many friends that are so caring and sweet whenever I come over, sniff sniff.

First activity was to visit the Singapore Art Museum with Audrey.

When I walked into one of the exhibition rooms upstairs I literally jumped in horror and squealed (not in delight) cos I came face to face hair with this enormous hair sculpture omg.

Gonna abruptly end my art spam here cos I realize nobody really cares about art the way I do, sniff sniff. 

Such is my lonely life of an aspiring artist.


Very awkwardly angled photo with RC in font of ION, Orchard by a random passer-by...

Alex, the drunk guy at my Farewell party.

Natural bokeh. Even the gods are trying to conceal my make-up free face so you don't spit on your screen. With my ex dorm-mates YX, Agrim & YK here. Told them to give me an ugly face in the second photo but YX just gave me his standard face. Big big sigh.

Darling Crystal in her natural habitat (messy room). She came to visit me in HK few weeks back too. I'll probably take another year to dig out our photos in HK though.

Pretty photos from Charylllll. Haven't met this girl in a really long time and I think her eyes grew even bigger. Seriously they are so big I wonder if that's the reason why she always cries LOL. Okay calm down Charyl if you're reading this.

Uncooperative Sijia is my very uncooperative bff.

But she took a photo of Tupac reading my texts so I forgive her.

Random dress I regret not buying cos it's soooo cute! Talk about the support I need lol.

On one of my last nights in SG I had my very belated birthday dinner at Rise, Marina Bay Sands with Joel (as pictured on the plate). Then took a stroll at Gardens By the Bay. My first time actually entering the garden!

That's about it for my short trip in SG that lasted less than a week : ^(
Oh my god I miss Singapore so much. The moment I finish this post I'm going to start searching for flight tickets to SG from HK again lol. Especially after how everyone on my feed was posting about Singapore's national day few days ago, which made me miss that city even more!

It's 5am and I need to wake up in 3 hours to get my visa renewed in order to beat the queue. Why insomnia at this hour whyyyyyyyyyy????????? I polished off a bag of Ruffles while watching Youtube on my bed, pig life prevails. Can't believe I'm not tired enough to even fall asleep when I just ran 10km this evening -.- and I also had 2 hours of PT at the gym last night -.- 

Now which idiot said exercise promotes better sleep, huhhhh?

Saturday, August 2

Whiny bitch right here

Hello cyberspace.

Been feeling pretty empty lately. Being myself is equivalent to being a depressed bitch nowadays. I love going out clubbing, shopping, socializing here and there. But above all, I love just being alone in my room.. lying on my bed with my phone switched off and just acting like a damn corpse.

Summer break officially begun just a few days ago after I survived my last deadlines for my First Year... and I've been having really terrible sleep again once the holidays begun. I dream of myself underachieving, letting myself down, failing miserably at producing works... sigh. This is me. When I am not suffocating from overbearing waves of stress or immense pressure to create something to challenge myself, I get all fucking depressed because my mind won't stop looping 'omg you're fucking useless/ omg what are you doing with your life/ omg you are a nobody'. Basically, I cannot put my mind at ease and just... enjoy life or relax in peace. It's all good when I'm out having fun or on vacation, but when I put myself to bed, all these thoughts come rushing in and they poison my dreams.

Every. fucking. night.

I hate taking a break. I really hate taking a break. Someone please throw a rock at me and knock me out unconscious so my body can rest.

Or maybe I really am underachieving, and I'm letting everyone down. I mean look at this shit I've been producing lately... mediocre, mediocre and woohoo guess what? mediocre. I'm pretty sure I messed up badly in my 3rd semester cos I was all 'fuck this I'm done!' and went on a 1 month vacation in 4 different countries in May... despite the fact that I wasn't on sem break at all -_- This stupid impulsive decision is probably still haunting me up till today since it contributed to my grades plummeting like crazy. I had the highest GPA in my course for the first 2 semesters but I'm pretty sure it isn't the case for the third now. Way to go, Xia. Good decision right there.

Ok whiny bitch gonna stop right here. I will make tomorrow a better and more productive day. I will.