Nuffnang

Monday, July 13

dilemma 867371983712




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I really need to write some stuff here cos I need to pretend that someone is actually listening to my rants. Speaking of writing, I haven't been physically writing with a pen and paper for so long that my hand-writing is so awful now wtf. Thank goodness I still can draw but honestly writing became a legit challenge in my life wtf is going onnnnnn.


Okay rant is about to begin. This year has been really really boring to be honest, as compared to what was going on in my life last year. Last year was all about spending all my money and not giving a fuck, but this year is all about stressing about money and my future. I mean yeah I need to grow up and stuff. Probably everyone around my age has to go through this annoying wtf am I doing/ going to do with my life phase, but knowing that everyone else is going through it doesn't make it feel any better okaaay.


First of all, where am I supposed to go?


Hong Kong is where I currently am. But my visa is expiring soon so I got to get my ass hired ASAP to get a working visa. But speaking of work... I'm so damn picky even when I have no right to be all that picky lol -_- I know I can study instead since student visa will be granted automatically once you vomit out the humongous sum of school fees for any institution here. But did you know that the school fees for a non-local student in HK is x3 the price of a local student? So yeah I rather use the money to buy a lot of expensive truffle chips. A degree from a 'good design school' won't be as impressive as a good portfolio anyway............... but when comes the day I am jobless after multiple failed job interviews, my balls will probably shrink and I will blame myself for having the balls to step into the workforce full-time before getting a degree........


On the other hand, HK is honestly not all that good for creative work... it's so damn suffocating in here. The hectic lifestyle and constant reminder that everything in life comes with a hefty price tag makes it difficult not to be a slave to money and focus on art.


But then again here is the part where I wonder if I should try harder or leave this toxic city. An analogy would be being in a shitty relationship where you find your partner to be a semi-dickhead, not a total dickhead, so you're not sure if you should try harder to makes things work and wait for a better change or just say fuck you goodbye to this relationship.


Okay so using the same analogy, there's still Singapore and Malaysia. Malaysia being my puppy love that induces intense eye rolls when I imagine myself back there. And Singapore being my most recent ex that I might still have feelings for. But you know what they say, 好马不吃回头草 !  


I left because it was the end of a chapter and I shouldn't go back to that tiny island. 
Time to venture further and move on with life............ right?




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